“I don’t want to sleep! I want to keep soaking in all this love you’re giving me!” I feel sure that was what Buddy was expressing about an hour ago.
It has been a day when i have been consumed by work – by tasks that feel, to me, too urgent to interrupt. I was home for most of the day, and I did take Buddy and Lucy for several walks on this perfect fall day, but then immediately went back to my laptop on the front porch. Then, around 5:30, i went into town to look in on, feed and spend some time with an elderly cat whom i am sitting for about 25 days, while her person vacations in Italy. Then to a meeting and back home around 9:30 p.m. Then i dove into returning the emails that had some timely need for replies.
When, around 10:30, i finally made some time to cuddle with my dog – the first time all day, which is unusual for us, he completely reveled in it. We went out on the front porch, where i sat on the floor and invited him into his favorite place – between my spread-apart legs. Buddy almost immediately threw himself against my chest. (When he is less hungry for connection, he just settles in nested in the curve formed by my legs.) Then he gradually slid down my torso to settle on the floor. He moaned with pleasure more than i have almost ever heard him do.
Then – as is typical – he would start drift off to sleep. But he then displayed a behavior that i have hardly seen since the early days when he was so beside himself with actually getting a lot of love. After drifting towards sleep for just a minute or two, he would rouse himself and begin again the cycle of moaning with pleasure, periodically bringing his head up to me, asking for even more concentrated attention from me. I feel sure that if he had words he would be saying, “No, i don’t want to sleep – i want to stay conscious, so i can really take in all this wonderfulness.” We went through about three of these cycles before he finally surrendered to deep, peaceful sleep.
Then i did an almost similar cycle. I myself would start to drift off to sleep. But then – rather than surrender to my sleepiness and go to bed, as i usually do – i would rouse myself so that i would not have to end this so-sweet moment.
I want to feel and be this way with a lover.